Are you or is someone you love a “nuclear reactor”? When living our lives on automatic pilot, we tend to react to emotions even before we are aware that we are experiencing them. Instead of thinking through a situation and responding wisely, the energy of our strong feelings overtakes us and we risk going “nuclear”.…
Are you easily annoyed by people or situations? Does traffic on the commute to work make your teeth grind? Maybe the way your partner eats has you muttering under your breath. Perhaps you have a very specific collection of pet peeves – things that are likely to set you off and put you in a foul mood. Psychological irritation is a…
Do you find yourself fuming at the foibles of “stupid people”? Does the current political climate launch you into a torrent of righteous indignation? If you are habitually distressed by anger or if your angry behavior often comes back to bite you, this may be the sign of a personal blind spot. Anger is an afflictive…
Are there times when you find yourself feeling resentful when you witness someone else’s good fortune? Do you become suspicious and possessive when someone you love shows affection for another? And if so, do you then beat yourself up for feeling this way? Jealousy is an emotion that arises out of an attitude of scarcity, deficit, or…
In this multi-part blog post series, we having been exploring afflictive (or disturbing) emotions and more helpful ways we can relate to them. In Part I, we discussed how courage, compassion and wisdom help us respond more skillfully so that suffering is reduced. In Part II we will talk about acceptance, which is allowing (rather than avoiding,…
In this multi-part blog post series, we will explore afflictive (or disturbing) emotions and look at more helpful ways to approach them. Afflictive emotions are feelings that create suffering like anger, hatred, greed, fear, lust, jealousy, and even passion. They are usually accompanied by physical sensations as well as habitual patterns of thinking and responding that only serve to intensify the…
Feelings are real, but they are not facts. Feelings are: Signals that you are having a thought, opinion or belief about something or someone. The byproducts of your thoughts, interpretations, ideas, concepts, stories and beliefs. Subjective – they are “in the eye of the beholder”, neither right nor wrong. Ever changing. Fleeting – they come…
Imagine for a moment that suffering is like a sandwich. Some painful things are inevitable, unavoidable and outside of our control – such as the pain caused by other people’s actions and extraordinary events that occur. This is the bread in our suffering sandwich – after all, its just not a sandwich without the bread.…
Do you find yourself riding an emotional roller coaster, catapulted to great heights when good things happen and sunk into the depths when bad things happen? Do you cry too often and too easily such that its difficult to get your message across and people don’t take you seriously? Do you feel inflamed by injustices…
Emotions are important to optimal life functioning, but due to conditioning and socialization, many men in our society tend to be at a disadvantage when it comes to recognizing, understanding and managing them. This is largely due to the way we have historically raised and treated boys in US culture. Fortunately, it is possible increase one’s understanding of…
