Category: emotions
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Responder or Nuclear Reactor?
Are you or is someone you love a “nuclear reactor”? When living our lives on automatic pilot, we tend to react to emotions even before we are aware that we are experiencing them. Instead of thinking through a situation and responding wisely, the energy of our strong feelings overtakes us and we risk going “nuclear”.…
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The Power of Pet Peeves
Are you easily annoyed by people or situations? Does traffic on the commute to work make your teeth grind? Maybe the way your partner eats has you muttering under your breath. Perhaps you have a very specific collection of pet peeves – things that are likely to set you off and put you in a foul mood. Psychological irritation is a…
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The Affliction of Anger
Do you find yourself fuming at the foibles of “stupid people”? Does the current political climate launch you into a torrent of righteous indignation? If you are habitually distressed by anger or if your angry behavior often comes back to bite you, this may be the sign of a personal blind spot. Anger can be motivating,…
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Is it Jealousy or Are You Just Hungry?
Are there times when you find yourself feeling resentful when you witness someone else’s good fortune? Do you become suspicious and possessive when someone you love shows affection for another? And if so, do you then beat yourself up for feeling this way? Jealousy is an emotion that arises out of an attitude of scarcity, deficit, or…
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Feelings Aren’t Facts; They’re Signals
Feelings are real, but they are not facts. They are: Feelings aren’t the problem, it’s how we respond to them that can cause trouble. Be curious about your feelings rather than judging them. Don’t avoid them and don’t get caught up in them, just observe them. Treat feelings like the signals they are. When you see…
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The Suffering Sandwich
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Imagine for a moment that suffering is like a sandwich. Some painful things are inevitable, unavoidable and outside of our control – such as the pain caused by other people’s actions and extraordinary events that occur. This is the bread in our suffering sandwich – after all, its just not a sandwich without the bread.…
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Harnessing Your Emotional Superpowers
Do you find yourself riding an emotional roller coaster, catapulted to great heights when good things happen and sunk into the depths when bad things happen? Do you cry too often and too easily such that its difficult to get your message across and people don’t take you seriously? Do you feel inflamed by injustices…
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Men and Emotions
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Emotions are important to optimal life functioning, but due to conditioning and socialization, many men in our society tend to be at a disadvantage when it comes to recognizing, understanding and managing them. This is largely due to the way we have historically raised and treated boys in US culture. Fortunately, it is possible increase one’s understanding of…
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Dealing with Guilt and Shame
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in apology, confession, coping, disclosures, emotion, emotions, feelings, forgiveness, guilt, repentence, shameGuilt is an emotion that involves self-blame or a sense of responsibility for a regretted thought or action. Like any other emotion, guilt is not necessarily based on facts. Justified guilt is what we feel when the facts of the situation warrant the level of responsibility and regret we experience. Perceived guilt is what we feel when…
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Emotional Regulation
Self-regulation, or the ability to identify and respond appropriately to internal needs, is being increasingly recognized as an important skill. It appears Americans may be getting worse at it. Our lives are filled with endless distractions leaving us with little time or motivation to pause and look inward. Researchers speculate we are over-regulating our children’s…