Category: feelings
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Feelings Aren’t Facts; They’re Signals
Feelings are real, but they are not facts. They are: Feelings aren’t the problem, it’s how we respond to them that can cause trouble. Be curious about your feelings rather than judging them. Don’t avoid them and don’t get caught up in them, just observe them. Treat feelings like the signals they are. When you see…
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The Suffering Sandwich
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Imagine for a moment that suffering is like a sandwich. Some painful things are inevitable, unavoidable and outside of our control – such as the pain caused by other people’s actions and extraordinary events that occur. This is the bread in our suffering sandwich – after all, its just not a sandwich without the bread.…
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Making a Change
When a person has been experiencing longstanding discomfort – perhaps months or years of unhappiness, anxiety, loneliness, anger – they certainly know they want to feel better, but they may be unsure of what to do about it. Breaking out of these uncomfortable feeling patterns often requires a change – and change is hard! Successful…
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Dealing with Guilt and Shame
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in apology, confession, coping, disclosures, emotion, emotions, feelings, forgiveness, guilt, repentence, shameGuilt is an emotion that involves self-blame or a sense of responsibility for a regretted thought or action. Like any other emotion, guilt is not necessarily based on facts. Justified guilt is what we feel when the facts of the situation warrant the level of responsibility and regret we experience. Perceived guilt is what we feel when…
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Emotional Regulation
Self-regulation, or the ability to identify and respond appropriately to internal needs, is being increasingly recognized as an important skill. It appears Americans may be getting worse at it. Our lives are filled with endless distractions leaving us with little time or motivation to pause and look inward. Researchers speculate we are over-regulating our children’s…
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Managing Anger
Anger gets a bad rap, but it is a normal human emotion and we can learn to harness its energy for good. We tend to feel angry when we: feel out of control believe our rights have been violated think we are not getting our wants or needs met Since anger is an emotion it is…
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To Trust or Not to Trust
How do we know when we should trust someone? When our expectations haven’t been met or we have been disappointed by someone we trusted, it can be difficult to trust again. Trust is Adaptive Human beings are born with the ability to trust because it increases our likelihood of survival. When we are in need,…