Category: emotional regulation
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Responder or Nuclear Reactor?
Are you or is someone you love a “nuclear reactor”? When living our lives on automatic pilot, we tend to react to emotions even before we are aware that we are experiencing them. Instead of thinking through a situation and responding wisely, the energy of our strong feelings overtakes us and we risk going “nuclear”.…
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The Power of Pet Peeves
Are you easily annoyed by people or situations? Does traffic on the commute to work make your teeth grind? Maybe the way your partner eats has you muttering under your breath. Perhaps you have a very specific collection of pet peeves – things that are likely to set you off and put you in a foul mood. Psychological irritation is a…
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The Affliction of Anger
Do you find yourself fuming at the foibles of “stupid people”? Does the current political climate launch you into a torrent of righteous indignation? If you are habitually distressed by anger or if your angry behavior often comes back to bite you, this may be the sign of a personal blind spot. Anger can be motivating,…
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Feelings Aren’t Facts; They’re Signals
Feelings are real, but they are not facts. They are: Feelings aren’t the problem, it’s how we respond to them that can cause trouble. Be curious about your feelings rather than judging them. Don’t avoid them and don’t get caught up in them, just observe them. Treat feelings like the signals they are. When you see…
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Men and Emotions
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Emotions are important to optimal life functioning, but due to conditioning and socialization, many men in our society tend to be at a disadvantage when it comes to recognizing, understanding and managing them. This is largely due to the way we have historically raised and treated boys in US culture. Fortunately, it is possible increase one’s understanding of…
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Emotional Regulation
Self-regulation, or the ability to identify and respond appropriately to internal needs, is being increasingly recognized as an important skill. It appears Americans may be getting worse at it. Our lives are filled with endless distractions leaving us with little time or motivation to pause and look inward. Researchers speculate we are over-regulating our children’s…
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Managing Anger
Anger gets a bad rap, but it is a normal human emotion and we can learn to harness its energy for good. We tend to feel angry when we: feel out of control believe our rights have been violated think we are not getting our wants or needs met Since anger is an emotion it is…
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Frustration and Patience
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You are very hungry, but you can’t get the lid off of the jar. You are running late and your keys are nowhere to be found. Your jaw tightens and you look up at the ceiling as that familiar and exasperating feeling comes over you – you are experiencing frustration. Frustration occurs when we are…