Are you or is someone you love a “nuclear reactor”? When living our lives on automatic pilot, we tend to react to emotions even before we are aware that we are experiencing them. Instead of thinking through a situation and responding wisely, the energy of our strong feelings overtakes us and we risk going “nuclear”.…
Are you easily annoyed by people or situations? Does traffic on the commute to work make your teeth grind? Maybe the way your partner eats has you muttering under your breath. Perhaps you have a very specific collection of pet peeves – things that are likely to set you off and put you in a foul mood. Psychological irritation is a…
Do you find yourself fuming at the foibles of “stupid people”? Does the current political climate launch you into a torrent of righteous indignation? If you are habitually distressed by anger or if your angry behavior often comes back to bite you, this may be the sign of a personal blind spot. Anger is an afflictive…
Feelings are real, but they are not facts. Feelings are: Signals that you are having a thought, opinion or belief about something or someone. The byproducts of your thoughts, interpretations, ideas, concepts, stories and beliefs. Subjective – they are “in the eye of the beholder”, neither right nor wrong. Ever changing. Fleeting – they come…
Imagine for a moment that suffering is like a sandwich. Some painful things are inevitable, unavoidable and outside of our control – such as the pain caused by other people’s actions and extraordinary events that occur. This is the bread in our suffering sandwich – after all, its just not a sandwich without the bread.…
When a person has been experiencing longstanding discomfort – perhaps months or years of unhappiness, anxiety, loneliness, anger – they certainly know they want to feel better, but they may be unsure of what to do about it. Breaking out of these uncomfortable feeling patterns often requires a change – and change is hard! Successful…
Emotions are important to optimal life functioning, but due to conditioning and socialization, many men in our society tend to be at a disadvantage when it comes to recognizing, understanding and managing them. This is largely due to the way we have historically raised and treated boys in US culture. Fortunately, it is possible increase one’s understanding of…
Guilt is an emotion that involves self-blame or a sense of responsibility for a regretted thought or action. Like any other emotion, guilt is not necessarily based on facts. Justified guilt is what we feel when the facts of the situation warrant the level of responsibility and regret we experience. Perceived guilt is what we feel when…
How do we know when we should trust someone? When our expectations haven’t been met or we have been disappointed by someone we trusted, it can be difficult to trust again. Trust is Adaptive Human beings are born with the ability to trust because it increases our likelihood of survival. When we are in need,…
You are very hungry, but you can’t get the lid off of the jar. You are running late and your keys are nowhere to be found. Your jaw tightens and you look up at the ceiling as that familiar and exasperating feeling comes over you – you are experiencing frustration. Frustration occurs when we are…
