Tag: Acceptance
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The Problem with Positive Thinking
Many times I find my clients have incorporated the idea somewhere along the way that they need to be thinking more positively. While it holds understandable appeal, the problem with this strategy is that it is no more sustainable than thinking negatively. It rejects what is and attempts to replace it with what is preferred. Both negative…
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Even Amidst Tragedy, “All That We Are Arises With Our Thoughts”
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When it comes to tragedy, loss or unexpected death (such as by accident, suicide, acts of violence, or natural disaster), our focus is naturally drawn toward what has been lost. In our shock and sadness, we find ourselves spending countless hours wondering why and speculating about how something like this could happen. In our anguish over these…
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The Blue Pill: Caught in the Quicksand of Confirmation Bias
Most of us have had this experience: we are stubbornly pushing forward with a decision or toward a goal based on a gut feeling, ignoring the advice and warnings of concerned others and discounting any evidence that doesn’t support our desires. Then, when things go wrong, we don’t want to think or talk about it…
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Compassionate Self-Care
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Most of us would never consider neglecting our children or pets. That would be cruel. We also know what happens when we neglect important relationships. They wither and fade away. Neglect our car, it malfunctions and dies. Neglect our schoolwork or jobs, our performance suffers and we fall behind. But, what about neglecting ourselves? Many…
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Making a Change
When a person has been experiencing longstanding discomfort – perhaps months or years of unhappiness, anxiety, loneliness, anger – they certainly know they want to feel better, but they may be unsure of what to do about it. Breaking out of these uncomfortable feeling patterns often requires a change – and change is hard! Successful…
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Can I Trust Again?
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in acceptance, betrayal, faith, forgiveness, hurt, infidelity, love, marriage, relationships, risk, trustMost of us have been hurt or betrayed at some point in our lives. Its a terrible feeling that can have lasting repercussions, if we let it. When our experiences of hurt and betrayal linger, they can seep into our future relationships and impact our functioning with our families, friendships and colleagues. These negative feelings…
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The Secret is Acceptance
Remember the book “The Secret“? Take a look at the movie trailer, the website, the Vinny Verelli sketch, and the Saturday Night Live spoof and you can get a “Cliff’s Notes”-like understanding of it’s basic tenets. Most of us have a healthy skepticism of statements that are universal and absolute. Anything that promises to deliver…
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Frustration and Patience
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You are very hungry, but you can’t get the lid off of the jar. You are running late and your keys are nowhere to be found. Your jaw tightens and you look up at the ceiling as that familiar and exasperating feeling comes over you – you are experiencing frustration. Frustration occurs when we are…